“How hard it must be for a man at admit he can no longer take care of his wife alone.”
That is the thought I had to myself as a co-worker told me of her aunt that was told by doctors, there was nothing they could do for her and sent her home with her family.
My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My grandpa took great care of her, but there as a point and I’m not sure when, that he said to himself. “I can’t take care of her properly.”
As men (well most men) we are brought up that we must take care of our own. As a father and husband we are the alpha in our so-called packs. Like wolves we, love and protect our own with ferocity and grace. For some though this responsibility is too much and they shut down, but for most this is our way of life.
Did you know the alpha male in a grey wolf pack will sacrifice himself to save his pack? Or that he will go hungry before he let’s his pack starve?
It really just boils down to this for a man, do you have what it takes to put aside what’s best and comfortable for you when the time comes? My grandfather did, he loves my grandmother, and I bet it killed him to admit when it was time to put her in assisted living. All the lonely nights he missed her, missed the times before her disease when they would talk about the grandkids or the Browns screwing up a play, or how well the Indians did that season compares to other, or how badly the Buckeyes lost to the Wolverines.
I never want to be in those shoes, I never would want to have to agree that what is best for the love of my life is to not be near me anymore. But I don’t know what life will deal me, we never do. I can only hope that I will be man enough to put my wants aside for my children and wife. Because that is what I am supposed to do, countless species in the animal kingdom do it. That is what my heart tells me I should do.
All I have ever wanted since I was younger was to have a family. Just a good ole fashion nuclear family. The kind you would see on a cereal box or a Christmas card.
Do you know any men or maybe yourself that had to make these kind of tough decisions? Women too, as most know my mother was the Alpha in my life, not eating so my brother and I had full stomachs among other things.
Share your story in the comment section. No story is too small to share.