Am I a Christian?


I want to define what Christianity is in my eyes, let’s see if I can do this in a way that doesn’t come out condescending or sarcastic: 

We have a God, a creator in of all things regardless of how it was created. He seemed angry with His creation for a long time because we did not go the way He planned or desired for us to go.

After all the screw ups He got tired of being angry and decided we could never be flawless and instead of destroying us he gave us a second chance.

He became flesh. Taught us to scrap the old ideas and told us to just love Him, others and ourselves. He was tortured and nailed to a crusifix, died and came back to life.

Thousands of year and hundreds of translations later here we are. The core message has always been there, Love.

Love is a simple word and complicated at the same time. It is meaningful to some and then so over used by most to the point it no longer has any meaning at all. Not to sound like a 1992 DC Talk album, but Love is a verb and a noun.

But what is Christianity exactly?

Well it could be a cookie cutter that the mentally ill go to seek abuse for their wrong doings,

A high horse for those that see themselves as perfect and without sin,

A feeling of euphoria every time you pray, looking for a connection out there to replace a connection you are missing or lost here on earth.

Do I still have your attention? You haven’t run off from my blasphemy yet?

Good! I want your attention, I need it and I will openly admit it. But here is the point I am trying to make.

Why do YOU believe in this religion? Have you ever really sat down alone in the dark and thought about it? I am not saying prayed about it, but really thought about it. 

I have been struggling the last year or so with what and why I believe. I don’t believe anyone should take Christianity so lightly. It in itself is is such a strong, powerful statement. It has been shadowed with hundreds of years of death and suffering. It has saved lives and destroyed even more.

So why do you believe with all your heart it is real?

Do I? Am I just on here spouting hate to Christianity? Surely with all of the Christian bashing I can’t be one myself, or can I?

Take a second, take a deep breathe, exhale. Do you feel calm enough to continue reading?

Strip away the bull shit moral laws, what is left of Christianity? If you can not answer this question, maybe you don’t fully understand what it is to believe in it.

I can’t full answer that question. In my journey to understand why I believe what I was raised to believe. All I can tell you is someone created me, and even though I am a disgusting excuse for a human, father, husband, son, grandson, brother, uncle, nephew, and cousin I am still loved. Through all of my mistakes I am loved by my family and Christians say my God still loves me.

The sudden realization of Christianity.

Jesus died on the cross, went to hell came back and told us to follow Him. In what way? How do we follow? Where are we following Him too?

Let me stop there. Like in normal Scruffy Guy fashion I have asked too many questions, so I am going to stick to the one I feel is more important.

In what way did He want us to follow? 

*Note:*I am not a theology major nor have I studied the Bible from front to back. I am just a husband and father trying to figure this shit out so Please!  Don’t take anything I am about to write as solid and sound advice or information.

Jesus came and pulled the plug on everything, correct?

In a whole by doing what He has done reset the clock or the system . It had to have, what would be the point of Him coming here in the first place? God saw we were capable and had potential but we fall too short. In us we were and still are capable of greatness and total devastation. He set the moral code long ago and it has been the backbone of rule and law still to this day.

“Strip away the bull shit moral laws, what is left of Christianity?”

Love and even behind most of those moral laws and commands are just a simple task. Love. You don’t have to be professed Christian to follow Christ in a sense. But as Christians we have labeled those not labeled as Christians “sinners”. When we don’t even know the heart of those “nonbelievers”.

This could just be ramblings of a man trying to figure out life and religion and my relationship with God. May be there is truth to some of this maybe it is all bull shit. I don’t know.

Thank You for reading.

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3 thoughts on “Am I a Christian?

  1. A lot of those are questions that I’ve had as well, and to be truthful, there have been some times when I really wish there was a better word to use other than “Christian” because it’s got a lot of negative connotations. Although I like “Christ Follower” there’s still things that I can’t say I completely follow Christ on! Feels like a real dilemma sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would chalk it up to I am just a guy that believes my creator came to save me from my self. I went with nondenominational for a long time but “believer” seems enough for me. He knows my heart and that is all that matters I don’t see the need for the labels. And I am with you I wish there was another word for it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Many of the things that you’ve written about here are things that have been weighing me down for I’d say at least the last year or so. Last August, I started going to a new church, just as a sort of “one last change” thing before giving up on everything. It’s been an amazing experience for me. I started my WordPress blog as a result to help me sort of process through my own questions and find answers for things, and if no answers, then fine…sometimes it just helps to get the question out there! Any way, looking forward to seeing more of what you have to share here. It’s been nice to know that I’m not the only one who is trying to make sense of things. Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

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